Can you help me find the milk is an easy question? Don’t you wish all questions were that easy? The other day I was in Whole Foods and I told myself a lie I often tell myself when I go in there. If you’ve ever been to Whole Foods you know what I’m going to say. You got it! I’m just getting a few things so I don’t need a cart. Shortly thereafter my arm was weighed down with all the neat things I’ve convinced myself I must try this go-round. As I contemplate the logistics of returning to the front of the store, I’m hard-pressed to flag an employee down to help me. Can anyone relate?
The saying goes . . . Ask and you shall receive! Sounds almost like an instantaneous receive but we know in most cases or depending on the complexity, it’s not the case.
So why is it so hard to utter those words?
I NEED HELP!
For some unfathomable reason, there is an unstated rule that says no can do. Additionally we are receiving messages telling us it’s not ok to ask for help.
From whom exactly?
- The noisy troublemaker residing in our head for one. There is constant chatter saying it’s not a good move to ask for help.
- The elusive successful folks who’ve made it and cannot give you the time of day unless you add value. Kudos to those nice folks who mentor and throw warm wishes when called upon for help.
- Jobs that penalize for showing you’re not succession plan worthy. I'm told Google has an environment that embraces mistakes.
- Society dictating norms ...
- Family members who are well-intentioned and whose main goal is to protect us
- And so on
You get the idea.
It’s going to take courage to consistently ask for help when you need it. Below are some tips that you can leverage to get comfortable with asking for help.
3 Ways to Move Towards Being Ok with Asking for Help:
- Believe it or not, the top ten fears don’t include asking for help. Snakes, public speaking, flying yes but not asking for help. You have the courage you need to be vulnerable. So, go ahead and ask. Take Nike’s advice and Just Do It. Warning: you may get a silent (no response) or Loud (can’t help you) NO. But you know what? You’ll survive! Stay in motion. You will find your way!
- Bottling your asks could take a turn for the worse. Mental outburst statistics are on the rise. Stop the inferior feelings in their tracks and leverage help that is available. It doesn’t have to be costly. Take action to find a supportive ear. The www.mentalhealth.gov and the www.counseling.org websites are great options to gain an objective perspective on your challenges. Additionally, if available, employer assistance programs can provide resources
- Take advantage of the opportunity to build your assertiveness through training. Does your company offer this as on-site training? If not, lead the way in finding the training you can take advantage of. Volunteering is an option to gain additional training at zero or low cost.
Back to Whole Foods. Can someone get me a cart, please?